I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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