i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
