I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
