You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
