So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
only you would photoshop your dick
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
