Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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