I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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