i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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