I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
