dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
