i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
