Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
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I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
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Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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