If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize