kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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