I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
