if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
