He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
