In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
