he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
