She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
