Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
