Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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