All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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