Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
