you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize