Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
