I don't think brook has ever known best
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
