So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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