im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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