There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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