I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
