Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
