Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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