You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
