Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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