We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
