I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize