So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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