she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
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I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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