We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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