hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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