i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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