If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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