WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
