Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
