What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
