STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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