i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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