it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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