I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
