Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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