Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
