it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
