It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
