Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
