There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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