community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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