I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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