the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
