Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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