9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
