Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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