Just cropdusted the office
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
